The Ozian Declaration
by PrincessButtercup83
Summary: Penny had wanted to be in the movies. How is it possible that her leading man turns out to be this guy?
1. Wednesday

This was an idea that for some reason, I couldn't shake. I'm not totally sure where it's going.

Disclaimer: Things I don't own- this.

WEDNESDAY

Penny flipped the mirror on her visor open and checked her lip gloss quickly before climbing out of her car. Checking her watch, she noted she had plenty of time to get to Gate Twelve. The flight wasn't getting in until three o'clock.

The young actress felt quite perky and found herself half-skipping across the expansive parking lot. It was a beautiful California day, she'd been able to sleep in this morning and had found out only an hour ago that she'd gotten a callback on the mattress store commercial.

Her cell chirped in her bag and she dug past seventeen other things before grasping it and pulling it out. A moment later, she wished she'd taken a little longer to find it. Howard Wolowitz's picture filled the screen, warning her that he was in fact the person calling. She sighed before flipping the phone open.

"Hello," she said flatly.

"Penny," he drawled out, his voice an octave lower than it normally was.

"Howard," she responded, silently wondering why she had given him her number in the first place.

"Here's the thing," he said. She heard a scuffle in the background. "Today is Wednesday."

"I'm aware," she answered.

"And…" She heard mumbling on his end. He was talking to someone else now. "I know, I'm telling her." A moment later he came back on. "Yeah, my scooter is in the shop."

"Oh." Penny had a sinking feeling she knew what was coming. "Okay."

"Would you have time to…" She could hear him in the distance. "Sheldon, sit down and shut up."

"Howard," she shouted into the phone. "I am at the airport, I'm not going to be able to-"

"Penny."

"Yes."

"Sheldon Cooper." He felt the need to use his whole name? She felt herself smile.

"Yes, I know Sheldon."

"As you know, it's Wednesday."

She closed her eyes briefly. "Yes, I am aware." She entered the large building and felt the cold air wash over her body.

"Wednesday is new comic book day," Sheldon continued on.

"Just like every Wednesday," she answered.

"Yes." He paused. "Penny, I need a ride to the comic book store." There was a slight whine creeping into his voice now.

"Sweetie, I can't." She re-adjusted her purse on her shoulder as she wound through the crowd at the arrivals gate.

"But you need to." She was sure there was reasoning to that in Spock's crazy head.

"Sheldon." She ducked around a couple who was making out to a repulsive degree. "I'm at the airport."

There was silence on the other end of the line. "You didn't tell me that."

"What?" It was getting harder and harder to hear him through the din that surrounded her.

"I said you didn't tell me you were going anywhere. I didn't have a chance to finalize you travel itinerary." He paused. "How will you know if you're using your time efficiently?"

"Honey, I'm not going anywhere, I need to-" The door opened and people started filing out. There, in the crowd, Penny saw a red head struggling amongst them. "I gotta go."

"But, Penny-"

She flipped her phone shut and shoved it into her purse.

"Emma!" She called out, waving her arms. The girl in question approached her quickly, dropping a bag at her feet.

"Welcome to California!"

***

"Ugh," the young girl said, lifting her hair off the back of her neck before leaning back in the passenger seat. "It's like ninety degrees here."

"Yeah, and what temperature was it in Omaha?" Penny asked without skipping a beat.

"Eighty- something," Emma responded. "But at least it's always really windy so it doesn't feel as hot."

Penny chuckled at this as she merged into traffic. "I still can't believe your mom said it was okay for you to come out here." She gave a sidelong glance to her niece. "She must be getting soft in her old age."

"She could still kick your ass," Emma shot back.

"Hey, language." Penny tried pointing at her, but she was already trying to steer and hold an iced frappucino, so the effect was less than stellar. Emma silently grabbed the cup from Penny's hand.

"God, you act just like her," Emma laughed. "I remember you being fun. Did I make a bad choice in coming out here?"

"Babe, I'm gonna show you things you've never seen," Penny answered, giving the red head a wink.

"Okay, but that sounded like a come on, so…."

"Shut up," Penny retorted. "I'm trying to drive."

They sat in comfortable silence for three exits before Emma piped up. "So," she started, turning slightly in her seat and tucking a foot under her leg. "Tell me about it."

"Tell you about what?" Penny asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"California. Living the dream. All of it." At this, Emma gestured out to the sprawling landscape of Burbank.

Penny had been trying of things to tell her niece that sounded good without being lies. She hadn't done much acting at all and worked almost full time as a waitress in a family restaurant where she routinely served tourists in cargo shorts and trucker hats that weren't being worn ironically? That didn't sound like much fun.

Besides, the thing she really needed to ease Emma into was the idea of the inhabitants of 4A.

4A.

Sheldon.

Oh, shit.

"Emma, could you get my cell phone out of my bag?"

"Whoa," her passenger said. "You've missed like seven calls. Who's Moonpie?" She asked suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows upward. Penny felt her stomach knot. She hadn't meant to completely forget about him. She watched Emma adjust her side toggle button. "You put it on silence, dork." She handed it to Penny, who quickly flipped it open and hit speed dial 5.

"Sheldon Cooper."

She cringed. "Hey Sheldon."

"Penny, what on earth happened? The whole reason for having a cell phone is so one can be in contact with you as needed."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"You could have been kidnapped or-"

"Sheldon, I'm fine."

"- and do you have any idea the amount of crime that has happened at or near that airport in just the last year? Research states-"

"Sheldon!"

Pause. "Yes?"

She sighed and looked over at Emma for a moment. "Be downstairs in ten minutes."

"Be downstairs?"

"It is Wednesday after all."

***

"Comics?" Emma asked, her jaw dropping. "Who are you?"

"Yeah, yeah." Penny responded, smiling at her niece. "It will only take a few minutes."

"Yeah." Emma stared at her aunt for a moment. "Are you into comics too or…?"

"No," Penny answered. "And they're comic _books_." Penny rolled her eyes at Emma's horrified expression. "Caleb thought I was cool when I got him "Hellraiser' or whatever it was."

"Caleb's a freak," Emma replied about her twin brother.

"If…when we pick him up, if you could turn your sarcasm down about four clicks, that would be great." Penny glanced over at the girl in the car with her.

"Why, is he a baby?"

"Well, yes," Penny answered. "But more than anything, it's going to be lost on him."

"What?" Emma asked.

"You'll see." Penny moved over to the outside lane and pulled up in front of the building, where Sheldon stood, fidgeting with his messenger bag.

"Oh gee," Emma announced, "Don't tell me, it's the pale virgin in the 'Superman' t-shirt."

"Trust me," Penny said quietly as the door opened, "it could be so much worse."

***

"Wow." Emma flopped down on Penny's couch much later that evening. "That was…wow."

"Now you can say you've experienced that", Penny remarked in an overly sweet voice.

"Okay, so…" Emma stared at her aunt for a moment. "What's the deal with you and… Leonard? He seems kinda into you."

Penny felt her stomach tighten uncomfortably. Penny and Leonard had never really had good timing. They had barely spent any time alone together, and she'd realized that forcing the issue wasn't really worth it. Just because Leonard seemed to really like her…looks, it was never going to work. Penny, having come to her own conclusion on the subject had been oblivious to him lately. Apparently, her niece was able to pick up on something anyway.

"Um," Penny started awkwardly. "We, Leonard and I, we sort of dated." Emma's eyes got large. "I mean, we went on a date together. He seems to sort of still like me, and he's really nice, but…" Penny picked at invisible lint on her shirt. "It just didn't work out."

"Nice?" Emma turned toward Penny on the couch. "When you were in the bathroom earlier, he told me that even though I had the potential and aptitude to excel in unspecialized sciences, I was likely going to spend my high school years having sex and playing meaningless sports." The red head rolled her eyes.

What? Leonard would never be rude to her. This didn't add up.

"Really?" Penny asked, alarm apparent in her voice.

"Yeah." She stopped to think for a moment. "I know they're all…'unique little snowflakes' and stuff, but he is really…out there."

"Well, I guess." Penny felt unsettled by this evaluation of her neighbor's character. "I guess when you spend as much time with all of them as I tend to, you don't notice so much."

"You notice," Emma retorted, pointing an accusatory finger at the older female. "Earlier, at the comic book store, you looked at him like you wanted to rip his arm out of the socket and beat him to death with it."

Penny stared at her as if she had gone crazy.

"Sheldon," she muttered confusedly.

"Hmm?"

"Sheldon," Penny repeated, leaning forward. "The one we took to the comic book store earlier is Sheldon."

"Okay, so then…" Emma scrunched up her face. "Which one is Leonard?"

"The one with the glasses," Penny answered, feeling disconcerted.

"Oh!" Emma shrugged. "No, Leonard was very…polite."

"Yeah," Penny answered dumbly. Something still wasn't sitting right with her.

"Okay, so…Howard is the pervert, Raj is mute, Sheldon is the giant spaz and Leonard…wears glasses?"

Penny nodded distractedly. She couldn't put her finger on it.

"So, you dated the little guy?"

Oh my god_._

"You thought I dated Sheldon?" She stood, feeling off- balance. "You think there's something between Sheldon and I?"

Emma stared at her blankly.

"Uh, yeah. I spent the whole afternoon with you two. Why wouldn't I?"

***


	2. Thursday

THURSDAY

"I'm sorry." Penny struggled as she pulled on her shoes. "I made these plans before I knew you were coming."

"It's okay, Pen." Emma answered, brushing her hair over her shoulder and changing sides.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I kinda hate you." Penny remarked, watching the younger girl.

Emma, at the age of thirteen was already 5'9", with red wavy hair halfway down her back. She had the fair skin that everyone in their family had, save Penny. The same sparkly green eyes adorned her heart-shaped face. She was going to break many hearts, Penny was sure.

"Please," Emma answered, standing and flipping her hair over and bending at the waist. "Like you're not drop dead gorgeous." Penny grinned sardonically at the wall of hair that was currently speaking to her. "Those boys across the hall all clearly worship the ground you walk on."

"Howard is ready to fall in love with the first girl who glances in his direction," Penny replied, finally pulling her other shoe on as she leaned against the closest wall. "Raj has no choice but to look on adoringly since he can't talk to me unless he's drunk. Sheldon is completely indifferent to every human he interacts with and Leonard is so incredibly…." She stopped and sighed sadly. "Fickle and…hypocritical." She looked at her niece for a moment.

"Raj is cute," Emma reasoned, flipping her hair back and standing straight again to flounce toward the kitchen.

Penny chuckled. "You only think that because he hasn't spoken to you."

Emma pulled a bottle of water out of Penny's fridge, furrowing her brow. "So, Sheldon is gay then?"

"I don't know," Penny responded, hearing the defensive nature in her own voice. When she noticed her niece's raised eyebrows, she rolled her eyes. "I mean, he gets weird around …all people. At least all people he doesn't know pretty well."

"So yesterday, the way you two were acting with each other…was that normal?"

Penny thought back to the interaction she'd had the previous day with him, but remembered nothing out of the ordinary. "How were we acting?"

Emma grinned. "Like Nana Violet and Bumpa Jim."

The look Penny gave the younger girl could have frozen water. "Yes, but your Grandma Violet is crazy," she replied in reference to her mother. "You know that."

"So is Doctor Who over there," Emma shot back instantly, motioning toward the door.

"Your creepy fascination with my peculiar neighbor is not that charming, you know."

Before Emma could respond, there was a knock on the door.

Penny quickly moved across her hard wood floor and answered the door to find a tall man with curly blond hair and a permanent grin on his face.

"Hey, Chase." She gave him her most winsome smile and ushered him into the apartment. "This is my niece Emma. She's visiting from Nebraska."

"Oh cool," he enthused vapidly. "So you're like a farmer?"

Emma gave him a withering look before replying with a flat "Yeah".

"Right on," he answered, completely missing her attitude toward him.

"You're sure you're okay here?" Penny asked, grabbing her purse. She really did feel bad about this, but she'd been trying to get Chase to ask her out for three months, since his arrival in her acting class.

"Yeah," Emma said as she stepped into her flip flops. "I think I'm gonna go across the hall and see what's going on over there. They seem to think I'm six, which means they will try to entertain me with dropping eggs from their window and making baking soda volcanoes."

"Oh, those are fun," Chase chimed in brightly. Emma looked at Penny for a moment.

"Really?"

Penny narrowed her eyes for a moment in response before smiling at her tall perfect date. "Okay, we'll be back later. Don't start a fire. Don't shave anything. Don't pierce anything." Chase opened the door and she paused, turning back to her niece. "And if any of them ask you how you feel about online gaming, for God's sake, run."

***

Penny trudged up the four flights of stairs by herself, discarded shoes in one hand, at quarter to ten.

She now knew without a doubt that she had in fact been dating the wrong type of guy. Chase had looked like someone she would want to be seen with. But, trying to actually make conversation with him over dinner had been less fun than a trip to the dentist. Why was it all the good guys were taken or gay?

She stopped her thoughts as the sound of a familiar nineties rock song wafted toward her from 4A. Curious, she opened the door quietly.

There, in front of the television were Emma and Sheldon, engrossed in _Rock Band._ Sheldon, as always, was on guitar, while Emma tore up the vocals on that one song that Courtney Love's band had.

"When I wake up in my makeup," Emma sang, totally into her performance. She was good. Really good, actually. But Penny felt her eyes being pulled to the tall physicist in the room. She had never seen him so into this game before. He was not even looking at the screen, totally involved in the toy guitar he held as his long fingers expertly glided over the plastic frets.

"It's too early for that dress," Penny joined in. The two performers stopped, turning toward the door. Emma grinned widely while Sheldon just looked vaguely nauseated. "Don't stop," Penny added, stepping farther into the apartment. "You guys are really good." She threw herself down on the couch in Sheldon's spot. "You should totally take it out on the road."

Sheldon glared pointedly at her for a full thirty seconds before turning away and starting to pack up the game. Penny noticed Emma's face fall slightly, but she recovered quickly. "You need more than two people to have a band," he muttered.

"The Captain and Tennille managed," Penny offered brightly.

"Yeah, thanks." Sheldon said in a flat tone. He looked over at Emma. "Sarcasm."

"You don't have to say it every time," she replied smiling sweetly at him.

Sheldon turned back to Penny, a small smile on his face. "She gets me." Penny put her face in her hands in exasperation.

"Swell," she mumbled through her fingers.

"So, how was your date?" Emma asked as she wrapped the cord around her microphone. "Did you just bat your eyes at each other and stare vapidly into space?"

"It's 9:45, what do you think?" Penny answered, throwing her head back into the red leather. "All he wanted to talk about was his modeling aspirations and how he met Teri Hatcher at Pinkberry one time." Her niece made a sound of empathy. "What is it with guys always sucking?"

Both females' eyes swung over to Sheldon, who stood frozen, staring down at his guitar. "I sense you are both looking at me for insight into the members of my sex, which is …foolhardy to say the least." He paused in his clean up work. "And may I add…move." He snapped his head up sharply and glared at Penny, who glowered back petulantly before sliding over one spot, her short dress riding up unceremoniously.

"Where is everyone else?" Penny asked, noticing for the first time the lack of Howard, Leonard, and Raj.

"It's the third Thursday of the month," Sheldon said in reply, as if this was a perfect explanation. Penny just shook her head slowly.

"Anything can happen," Emma supplied helpfully.

"Oh, right." Penny nodded in understanding. "I thought you would have put the kibosh on that two months ago." She finally dropped her shoes onto the floor and pulled her knees up to her chin.

"Believe me, I've tried." Sheldon responded, primly taking a seat next to Penny on the sofa. "I was however informed that I could, how did Koothropali put it, eat them." Emma snorted at this, collapsing into the large chair usually inhabited by Leonard.

They all sat in silence for a moment. "He was so cute," Penny pouted finally, bringing the conversation back to her as any good actress would.

"It's his loss," Emma announced, "he was dumb as a brick and doesn't deserve you." Penny rolled her eyes at the young girl's attempt to sympathize with her. "Seriously, you look so hot tonight, auntie." Then, in what would later be described as a heinous moment of brain inactivity, Emma added, "don't you agree, Sheldon?"

Penny gave a short awkward bark of a laugh, but Sheldon sat perfectly silent, merely raising one eyebrow at the red head. "This feels like some sort of social convention I am not schooled in." Penny smirked at Emma, hoping this would drop whatever weird thing the thirteen year old thought she was accomplishing.

"Thank you for playing our game." Penny rose inelegantly and retrieved her shoes from the floor. "We have some lovely parting gifts for you."

"The idea," Sheldon continued, "that Penny would need reassurance about her physical appearance is preposterous to say the least." Penny stared at him blankly before narrowing her eyes to slits.

"Excuse me?"

"I simply mean to say that you are told, not least of all by the other member of our social circle, on a daily basis how quote unquote hot you are." Penny blinked. "Therefore, it would be absurd for me to do so at this point, especially when you don't need to be told how beautiful you in fact are." She closed her mouth with a snap and blinked at the man again. "I would sooner comment on what is deemed by others to be a good heart, or what I have perceived to be a rather clever sense of humor."

"Wow," Emma breathed, staring between the two wide-eyed.

Black was white, up was down. Something indescribable had just happened. Sheldon had just…..complimented her?

"Thank you," Penny finally said quietly.

Sheldon looked up at her, confusion clear on his face.

"For what?"


	3. Friday

FRIDAY

"Thank you, that will be all," a bored-looking balding man said to Penny. She pulled her page up and looked at it quickly before glancing at him. But, she hadn't finished yet. She thanked them quietly and left the room as quickly as her legs would carry her. Whitney, the assistant casting director and designated scene reader followed close behind. It was now her job to put a happy spin on the fact that Penny had barely gotten two sentences out before being rebuffed.

"Sorry, babe." She said sympathetically, patting Penny on the shoulder. "Sometimes they just have a very specific idea in mind for these things."

"Everyone does," Penny answered blandly, "and somehow, I'm never what anyone wants."

Whitney looked at her for a moment, a glint in her eye. "You will be." Penny rolled her eyes. "No, mark my words. You have an energy and style that is entirely fresh and unique." She glanced back into the room, where the next unsuspecting lamb was about to be slaughtered. "Listen, I put your name on today's list, and I will put it on the next one too." She touched Penny's arm. "Just hang in there, Penny."

Penny smiled tightly, willing herself not to cry. "I'll try."

She dazedly walked out the side door and out into the alley, where others who'd been cut meandered, smoking and detailing to each other how this director was a piece of shit, they had heard so from other people who had worked with him.

"Hey, Blondie," she was greeted amiably by a brunette she routinely saw at auditions whose name she always forgot.

"Hey," she answered, smiling despite the tears in her eyes.

"Aw," the other woman said sadly, embracing Penny briefly. "You always let it effect you so much." She took a drag from her cigarette and blew it out of the side of her mouth farthest from Penny. "You gotta learn to let these things roll off your back, or L.A. will eat you alive kid."

"Yeah," Penny replied dully, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes. "It's just….every single time."

"Join the club," spoke up a tiny girl with spiky black hair from a few feet away.

"Yeah," Penny repeated, pulling her bag up onto her shoulder. She made her way through the crowd of girls, all of whom looked nothing like her. If her mind was working properly, she might stop to ask herself why that was, but as it was, she just wanted to get in her car and go home.

She threw her bag into the passenger seat with more force than was necessary before climbing into her small car. Choosing her 'Angry & Aggressive' play list on her iPod, she pulled out into traffic.

The decision to become an actress was one that she had honestly fallen backwards into. She'd been popular, that was certain, having picked up her older sister's mantle as Prom Queen and Head Cheerleader and Lead in The School Musical. But on a whole, Penelope had spent many of her adolescent years aimless, drifting toward college because that was what everyone did. They all graduated and went to a school an hour from home, so they could go home on the weekends and have mom do their laundry. They married early and had babies and never moved away. And so, Penny had followed the plan. She'd graduated, no where near the top of her small class, but with the largest turnout at her reception. She'd gone to the University of Nebraska, majoring in drinking and sleeping. Everything was on track for her to have a perfectly vanilla life in the heartland, raising small children and going to the races every Friday night.

It was a Tuesday in November when she'd realized she was totally miserable and actually had some control over that. She'd walked out of her Sociology class and never looked back. She'd moved back home and started working at a convenience store during the week, selling Icees and three-day-old hot dogs to boys who wore their jeans so low their crotch was at their knees.

That Christmas, her family mostly ignored the fact that Penny had already failed so spectacularly at school and instead focused on ten-year-old Caleb's placing at the Omaha World-Herald's Midwest Spelling Bee as his twin sulked in the corner. That afternoon, when her grandfather had turned to her and barked a question regarding her future, it had been Aunt Karen who had spoken up about the possibility of Penny pursuing acting, pointing out how much fun it had been to watch her niece on stage performing. The idea had stayed with her afterward, eating at every thought for the better part of two months. She'd won enough 'Little Miss' whatever contests to know she had the looks to make it as an actress, having been told her entire life she was such a pretty girl. Penny realized that, in retrospect, those few times she'd been on the stage had been some of the happiest experiences of her life.

Two months after that, she had packed up her small car and taken her seventeen hundred dollars out of her back account and never looked back. This was right, she knew it.

So, what had gone wrong?

Penny blamed Aunt Karen for the whole thing.

***

She opened the door to her dark apartment and dropped her bag on the floor before walking straight to the bathroom. Without turning on the light, she flipped the cold water faucet on and letting it run as cold as it could get before leaning over and getting her hands full to splash on her blotchy and swollen face. It wouldn't do any good to let Emma or the boys know the outcome of the audition just by looking at her.

After changing into a much comfier tank top and sweat pants, she padded across the hall and knocked before entering.

Leonard sat alone at his desk, staring at his computer. When he noticed it was her, he closed his browser and turned toward her, smiling invitingly.

"Hey," he smiled, standing awkwardly. Not that it surprised Penny. Everything he did, he did awkwardly.

Smiling, she returned his greeting before making a show of looking around the empty apartment. "What did you do with her?"

He knit his brow for a moment before grinning. "She went with the others to pick up the food."

Penny opened her eyes widely in surprise. "Wow."

"Yeah, I thought so too," Leonard answered, still smiling at her.

Penny threw herself down in the middle of the couch, laying her head back. "But she was good today? She didn't accidentally set off a rocket or something?"

Leonard stared at her for a moment. "What exactly do you think we do?" he finally asked humorously.

Penny grinned for the first real time all day. "Sorry, I'm not exactly on my game today. Had other things going on."

Showing his complete lack of being able to read a situation, Leonard perked up. "Oh, that's right. How did the audition go? Am I looking at the next Mattress Queen?"

Swallowing hard, Penny shook her head slightly. Leonard immediately dropped his smile, silently sliding down next to her with a tiny squeak. He placed a consoling hand on her back, patting it a few times. Penny looked over at him, realizing he was closer than she'd expected.

"Leonard, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he answered quickly.

"Why…do you like me?"

He seemed startled and confused by the question, looking at her as if she'd grown a third head. "I don't understand the question."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, which was quickly deflating. "I mean, what is it about me that you think makes me…different…. From every other girl." She looked at him expectantly, waiting, needing to hear something from him.

"I don't know," he started bashfully. "You're beautiful, and…" he paused, thinking. Penny felt her heart sink. "And you're fun. And…and you're a good friend." He seemed very proud of his answers. "You're…wonderful, Penny."

She needed to get rid of this feeling inside of her. Without really thinking about it too much, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his for a moment before pulling away. She kept her face very close to his, thinking. He was smiling again, but Penny didn't feel even a tiny bit better.

"Leonard," she whispered.

Before she could say anything more though, the door flew open and Howard and Raj trooped in, carrying large bags of take-out. After them came Emma, followed closely by Sheldon, who seemed to be eight minutes into a twelve minute lecture on the finer points of Battlestar. When the latter two noticed the scene on the couch, they stopped dead in their tracks. Penny felt herself seek out Sheldon's face for a split second before settling on her niece's. She stood awkwardly, smoothing down the front of her pants before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hey, guys." It was all she could manage with the thirteen other things flying around in her mind.

"If you two are going to proceed with coitus, I suggest you do it at Penny's," Sheldon spoke up in a flat voice. "as the rest of us are set to start our gaming marathon in precisely four minutes." He strode past Emma rigidly and went to the kitchen.

Penny felt her jaw drop in surprise and let her eyes follow him before looking to Emma. The young girl was watching Sheldon intently. Penny turned to look at Leonard for a moment and noticed he too was watching the tall man. She finally let her gaze settle on Sheldon once more as he busied himself with pulling takeout containers from their plastic bags and placing them on the countertop.

"I cannot believe you just said that," Penny said quietly.

"He…he didn't mean it," Leonard reasoned. "Sheldon is just…." He looked over at his roommate sharply. "…crazy."

When the finicky physicist met her eye line, Penny felt something heavy settle on her chest. He had an expression on his face that she hadn't ever seen from him. His eye twitched and he quickly looked away again.

Penny felt the sudden need to get out of the apartment. "Emma," she started, her voice scratchy, "let's uh, let's go over to my place." The other girl looked for a moment like she was going to protest, but thought better of it. "We can order pizza and watch 'Brat Pack' movies."

She moved past her niece and out the door, feeling the tears start to roll down her cheeks. What the hell was wrong with her? What did she care what any of them thought, especially Sheldon? Why should it matter if they _had_ been about to have sex on the couch?

He had looked so…wounded. Was that possible?

Emma entered the hallway and Penny quickly wiped away a stray tear.

"You sure know how to keep things interesting around here, don't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Penny shot back defensively.

Emma looked at her and saw a similar expression of hurt on her niece's face as she'd seen on his a moment ago. She shrugged indifferently.

"Doesn't matter now."


	4. Saturday

SATURDAY

Bright sunlight filtered into Penny's room, glinting off of her honey-colored skin. Glaring at the offensive light, she rolled over, putting a pillow over her head. From the living room, she could hear anxious whispers. Emma was up, but who was she talking to? After thinking about it for a moment, Penny gave up on sleep and tried to make out the conversation that was taking place in the next room.

"No, that's all we have," she heard Emma whisper harshly.

"But it's skim," was the unusually deep-voiced response she got.

Oh, lord.

"And?" Her niece's voice had taken on an edge.

Pause. "I don't drink-"

"How could you do that?" Emma cut in angrily, trying in vain to keep her voice low. "Say that to her?"

Another pause. "I think, given the situation we …_interrupted, _the response I-"

"Sheldon, it's okay that you were upset…"

"Of course I was upset," Sheldon answered, "he was sitting in my spot."

There was a long beat, during which Penny started to think that maybe her kin had killed her neighbor with her bare hands.

"It's 6:31."

"We leave for the paintball field at 8:40. You are welcome to join us."

"Talk to her."

"No, I don't think I will."

Penny heard the door shut quietly and counted to twenty before stepping out of her bedroom.

There stood Emma, clad in a pair of Penny's hand-me-down 'Hello Kitty' pajamas. The legs were way too short, making them look more like capris on the tall red head.

"Out of milk?" Penny questioned.

Emma nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "Apparently he needed to go to the grocery store last night to get some, but Leonard isn't speaking to him."

"Good," Penny said quickly.

She watched as Emma bit her lower lip. "Why is he the bad guy? You're the one who was about to make it with his roommate."

"Oh my God, I was not." Penny shot back, raising her arms. "He thinks I'm some whore who just runs around sleeping with whoever I want to."

"Not even close," Emma stated flatly. They stared at each other in silence for a moment. "Do you want to come play paint ball with us later?"

Penny furrowed her brow at her niece. "You're going?"

"I'm good at paintball," she replied, waggling her eyebrows.

"You're on their team," Penny said, yawning." "You can't shoot them. Even Wolowitz."

"I probably still will," Emma answered, pouring her own bowl of cereal. She turned to watch Penny carefully, and the blonde suddenly felt very aware of herself.

"What?"

"Nothing," Emma replied around a mouthful of Count Chocula, "So, you and Leonard then?"

"No," Penny said, flopping down on the couch and tucking her legs under herself. "Not me and Leonard." She yawned again. "And, congratulations on going a whole twelve hours without asking."

"I do what I can." Penny picked up the remote and started changing the channels without really seeing what was on. "So, does he know yet?"

"Know what?" Penny asked, not looking up from the screen. The Magic Bullet infomercial was on again. She felt compelled to watch it every single time.

"Know that your making out with him was your way of saying 'I'm just not that into you'?" Emma deadpanned. Penny glared at her temporary roommate. "Sorry, but you are sending out some mixed signals here."

"Leonard understands our relationship, and nobody else really cares about any signals I'm sending out, mixed or not."

The young girl snorted, giggling. "Do you even understand your relationship?" She chewed for a moment before clearing her throat. "And…I don't think that nobody cares."

Penny sighed and stood to face her niece. "Okay, let's get this out already." She crossed her arms over her chest. "What's your damage, Heather? Ever since you got here, you keep hinting and pushing and poking at something that just doesn't exist."

"Maybe you're not paying any attention," Emma retorted quietly.

"And then you do that!" Penny shot back, her voice getting louder. "You do this weird cryptic mind meld thing like you know better than I do what is going on in my life!" She sighed again, stepping closer to Emma. "Look, I'm not sure why you think there's something going on between me and Sheldon."

Emma blinked at her. "Because there is?"

"But," Penny moved on quickly. "You're wrong. You've known him two days, I've known him two years. I think I know him better than you do."

"You don't know him," the red head answered. "You barely notice him."

Penny laughed. "He's a little hard not to notice, Em."

"Sure, you recognize when he does something strange or annoying." She finished her cereal and put the bowl in the sink. "But you don't ever actually pay attention to him."

"What am I missing then?" Penny snapped and immediately knew it was the wrong decision.

"The other night," Emma started instantly, as if waiting for Penny to say that. "He let you look through his brand new mint condition Spiderman and then slapped Raj's hand when he tried to do the same thing."

"He hadn't washed his hands," Penny reasoned.

Emma grinned slightly. "The other night after your date, he was flirting with you."

Penny tried to think back. "He didn't even know he was paying me a compliment then."

Emma crossed her arms over her chest again. "Last night, when we walked in on you and Leonard, he was jealous. And hurt."

And there it was. It had been Penny's interpretation of what had happened as well, but hearing the same conclusions come out of someone else's mouth was unsettling. She felt something shift in the pit of her stomach. "No," she said. "Look, he doesn't feel that way…..about anybody. Least of all me."

"Why do all you guys treat him like a robot?" Emma asked angrily. "Just because he doesn't know how to show his feelings all the time doesn't mean he doesn't have them, you know."

Penny felt terrible. While she was sure Emma was wrong in her assessment of his feelings, she knew that the girl was right in saying Penny's neighbor was, despite appearances, human. She sighed. "When did you get so smart?"

"This guy is basically what my brother is going to be in ten years," Emma answered, frowning. "I mean, I tease him relentlessly, but, I love him. And I get him."

It was true, Penny realized when she thought about it. Caleb had always been very smart but socially inept. It explained how well Emma had been able to deflect Sheldon's annoying habits and bring out more of his childlike naivety in only a few short days with him. Penny rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache forming quickly.

"I'm going back to bed," Penny announced softly. "When you get back from paintball, we'll go shopping or something."

She shut the door to her room harder than she needed to.

***

Penny woke three hours later to find her apartment empty and a note featuring a fairly graphic sketch involving missing limbs explaining how Emma was sure she and the boys would win. Penny found she couldn't even smile at that.

After getting herself a bowl of cereal, she sat back down on the couch and turned on the television. She flipped past 'Hannah Montana', 'Overboard', and a rerun of 'Rock of Love' before finding an old episode of 'Saved By The Bell'. She stared at it, letting the happy cheesiness wash over her.

Of course she knew Sheldon had feelings. Or, at least in theory she knew that. She'd only ever seen him actually display regular human emotions a handful of times. She still couldn't understand why Emma was so hung up on the idea though. Sheldon was rude and arrogant and….really mean sometimes. Was that something her niece thought she deserved? A man who had little to no hope of ever connecting with his own feelings, let alone those of other people?

When the show changed over to 'Dawson's Creek' twenty minutes later, Penny didn't bother changing the channel.

Penny could admit that he was fun to be around. Sometimes. She knew that they had a certain sync between them that ...worked. She recognized the off beat chemistry they shared from time to time, each matching the other's quip with one of their own. But to actually consider him in a romantic context was almost unthinkable.

Besides, the last thing Penny needed right now was more boy trouble anyway. She'd always had man drama in her life, and this was one she had every intention of putting off as long as she could.

Whitney had texted her last night, stating she planned to call this morning to let Penny know what the casting director had said about her, if anything. Penny wasn't sure why she always insisted on finding out, because it was never anything good. Ever. All she was ever met with was a composite of 'she's too pretty', 'she's too tall', 'she's too blonde', 'she's not ethnic enough'.

As if she could help any of that.

She walked slowly into the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror. The person that stared back at her was hardly recognizable.

Penny felt something bubbling up inside of her and thought for a moment that she was going to be sick. The pressure on her chest was immense. It was as if she was being swallowed by her own life, smothered by disappointment and disillusionment.

Something needed to change.

Now.

Without thinking, Penny reached into her drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors.

Snip.

For the casting directors who tried to look down her shirt instead of at her face.

Snip.

For the guys who assumed she would sleep with them on the first date.

Snip.

For her parents who she could never please.

Snip.

For being given the responsibility of taking care of a whole other human this week.

Snip.

For never being right for any part.

Snip.

For Leonard not getting it. Ever.

Snip.

For being terrified at the idea of Sheldon ever getting it.

_Snip._

When she finally put the scissors down, she had a pretty impressive pile of hair in her sink and a head that boasted a completely uneven bob. Penny watched herself in the mirror, waiting for the impending meltdown that was surely coming any second.

But it didn't come. Sure, she was already realizing it was about the dumbest thing she could have done, and sort of felt like her senile grandmother. But, there was something so…liberating about it. Something in her grasp that she had control over.

There was a knock on her door.

"Coming!" she called as she gave one more look at herself in the mirror.

When she opened the door, she was met with Emma and the boys, all basking in the afterglow of paintball.

"Holy crap!" Howard was the first to say something.

"What the hell did you do?" Emma asked, her eyes wide.

"Language," Penny countered, setting her jaw firmly. She looked over Emma's shoulder to where Leonard stood, open mouthed.

"Did you win?" She asked the group. Raj gave the tiniest head nod and Penny smiled at him.

"It looks good!" Leonard enthused, stepping forward. Raj gave her two thumbs up and grinned tightly.

"Seriously, have you lost you mind?" Emma asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

Finally, Penny glanced over to where Sheldon stood, watching her more carefully than she really felt comfortable with. He looked down at his duffel bag when he noticed her looking at him. Something fluttered against her ribcage and she put a hand against the doorframe.

"Yes, I think I have actually," she answered, not managing to look away from the tall man.

"I'm gonna shower," Emma announced loudly, breaking the tension that had been steadily mounting in the hallway. She skipped past Penny, stopping to give her a kiss on the cheek. "You, my friend, are a freak."

Penny watched as the four boys all turned to troop back into 4A. Before entering, Leonard turned and glared at Sheldon before gesturing toward Penny. Sheldon turned toward her then too, looking suddenly pale, and shook his head vehemently. Leonard gave him a push as the other three slipped into the apartment. Sheldon just stood there, halfway between the two doors, unsure.

"Sheldon?" Penny asked, trying not to smile.

He looked for a moment like he was doing long division in his head, and then stepped over to her, raising his head to stand at his normal overly straight posture.

"Penny," he started formally.

"Sheldon," she repeated, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Leonard has informed me that what I said last night may have been construed as something rather insulting in nature."

She sighed, leaning against the doorframe now. "Yeah, that sucked."

He paused to think, seeming to not know how to form his next words. "I'm…sorry."

Penny felt the corners of her lips twitch. "Really?"

"Yes," he replied, clasping his hands behind his back. "It has since occurred to me that, although true, my thoughts could have been more politely conveyed."

Penny stared at him for a moment. "So, it isn't that you're apologizing for calling me a skanky ho, it's just that you are going to be less blunt next time you do it?"

Sheldon gave her the look he usually reserved for Leslie Winkle.

"Nonsense," he scoffed. "I have absolutely no knowledge of anything relating to skank-dom." Penny tried again not to smile. "I was merely pointing out that your bi-yearly reconciliation with Leonard was taking place in a public arena in which the rest of us were about to ingest food."

Penny rolled her eyes at him. He was such a….Who uses six hundred and forty-three words when eleven would suffice? "Leonard and I are not together," she stated slowly, stressing each syllable.

"Someone should tell him that," Sheldon said under his breath. He glanced down at his boots, covered in green paint.

Penny sighed. "Yeah, I'm working on that." She looked at him for several long moments, daring herself to say what she was thinking. "Actually, I think…." He looked up at her slowly. "I think there might be someone else." She swallowed. "Who's not Leonard?"

Sheldon's face gave the tiniest twitch and he continued to stare at her. She could feel her heart hammering against her ribs.

Penny cleared her throat. "Don't you have a smart-ass comment to make?" she asked, pointing toward her hair.

"Mmm, no." He took a small step toward her. "It looks completely ridiculous, but I think that may have at least been part of your intention." Penny felt her jaw drop. "You're trying to keep people focused on your external self, because you think the interior has nothing of substance to offer. Furthermore, the need to change one's outward appearance so drastically in such a concise manner often points to either trying to draw attention from desirable people or push undesirable people away. As I fit into neither category, I feel I am safe from whatever social female trap you are setting for me." He said it all very quickly, in that stream-of-consciousness way he recited facts every day, but his words cracked her heart. "But I understand little to nothing of basic human relations, so I might be off base."

"How the hell could you possibly know that much about psychology?" Penny looked at him as if he'd sprouted tentacles.

"I watch a lot of movies," he answered bluntly.

She paused. "And you think I have something of substance to offer?" She asked it very quietly, looking up at him.

He blinked five times in rapid succession.

His jaw got tense.

And then Penny's cell phone rang.

"Shit," she muttered, sprinting back into her apartment. She dug her hand into the couch, pulling it out just in time for it to go to voicemail. Flipping it open, she saw it was Whitney. Whitney, who tried so hard to get her work. Whitney, whom Penny would have to call to explain why she had just chopped her hair off in a fit of hormones. She bit her lower lip.

"You look slightly taller."

With that, he turned and walked away from her, not seeing the smile that came to her lips_._


	5. Sunday

SUNDAY

Penny opened the over door to peer at the bacon, sizzling away on it's cookie sheet. She inhaled deeply before closing the door and setting the timer for another seven minutes.

"I smell bacon!" came the shout from the bathroom.

Penny grinned to herself. Pancake day was something that had been established in her family when Penny had still been in Pull-Ups. Her older sister Cassie had taken a home economics class and had forced the family to eat her rubbery concoction one Sunday. Just to get rid of the bad memory, the next week her mother had made them again. From there, it'd had a mind of it's own, taking over important holidays, vacations, even Uncle Ron's funeral. Cassie had carried the tradition over to her own family now, instilling in Caleb and Emma how important pancakes truly were.

She wasn't wrong.

"Bacon is the greatest invention in the known world," Emma announced, emerging from the bathroom, towel drying her hair over her shoulder.

"I know, right?" Penny answered, getting her hand wet to sprinkle droplets of water on the griddle. They sizzled when they hit the hot surface. "How'd ya sleep?" She pulled her large mixing bowl toward her, preparing to ladle batter onto the griddle.

"Like a baby." She sat down on the couch, tucking one leg under the other.

Penny smiled and dropped a spoonful of batter into the waiting griddle. It bubbled immediately. "Can you get the syrup out of the cupboard over the sink?"

Emma wandered over, opening the door. "There isn't any in here."

"What?" Penny asked, spinning to look over the red head's shoulder. "Crap."

"What now?" Emma asked.

Penny thought for a second before looking at her door. She could…..couldn't she? "Here," she said with authority, handing the spatula to her niece, "I'll be right back."

She reached into her junk drawer, pulling out a DC Comics keychain, to which a silver key was attached. She strode purposefully across her apartment and snuck out into the hallway. Before listening at the door for sound, she knocked. When no one answered, she quietly let herself into the apartment, turning to carefully close the door behind her.

"What in tarnation are you doing?"

Penny grimaced before turning to face Sheldon, who was clad only in a green plaid robe. "Hi." She smiled sweetly at him. "Morning."

"Penny," he started, stepping toward her. "Why on earth are you in my apartment at this hour?"

She ground her teeth together for a moment before mumbling her answer. "I'm out of syrup."

"And so you thought," he stated, stepping toward her with his eyebrows raised, "that you would break into our apartment and steal ours?"

Sighing, she answered," Yep, that was pretty much the plan."

"Penny, do I need you to read over the neighbor handbook one more time?"

Licking her lips, she gave him a acerbic grin. "No, thanks."

"So, you understand that you are in danger of getting a strike for this?" He asked, clasping his hands behind his back.

Penny squinted at him, "I'm aware." She took a step toward him. "But it's Pancake Day."

Sheldon frowned at her. "Doesn't it seem like you should have thought of your syrup needs before now then?" He paused, but she didn't respond.

"Yeah, I guess. Hey, where's Leonard?" She asked it as conversationally as she could, hoping he would come to her rescue.

"He went out with Wolowitz and Koothropali last night and never came home." Sheldon made his way over to the kitchen. "I am to assume he met someone with whom he engaged in sexual congress."

"Oh." Penny said, feeling awkward for some reason. Wasn't he supposed to be pining over her? It wasn't that she felt jealous of the other girl in that way. It was more about the feeling she got whenever Leonard looked at her in that way. He made her feel good about herself. It was selfish and crazy, but Penny wasn't ready to let go just yet.

She was so lost in thought she didn't even notice Sheldon standing before her, holding out a bottle of syrup for several moments. She looked up at him. "You're upset," he noted.

She watched him for a moment. "No," she finally answered. "I'm not." She glanced at the bottle in his hand. "What's this for?"

"I seem to have a strange unexplainable kinship with your niece," he replied.

"She's a little young for you, Shelly."

The tall physicist rolled his eyes. "How pedestrian of you to infer the most ridiculous definition of that."

"It was a joke," she chuckled.

"And don't ever call me Shelly." He pulled the bottle away from her.

"Deal," she grinned, reaching out for the bottle. He didn't flinch away from her when their fingers brushed, his eyes seeming to lock onto hers in a strangely tense way. She felt a warmth spread through stomach.

It wasn't Leonard who was giving her that look this time.

"Do you want to join us?" The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to think about them.

He blinked, taken aback. "Do I have to bring my own fork?"

Penny rolled her eyes in response. "You can go through my silverware drawer, okay?" He thought for a moment.

"That is acceptable."

Penny tried to keep the smile off her face. "You might want to get dressed first."

Sheldon glanced down at his attire before glaring at her pointedly. "Thank you."

She smiled cheekily.

"I'll wait."

***

"I still don't totally understand," she'd said, trailing behind him through the cereal aisle. "This is just for comics?"

"No," Sheldon had responded, turning his head back toward her. He had insisted on going straight to the grocery store after breakfast to replace his syrup and make sure Penny had a bottle of her own.

"So, it's for comic books and anime and that 'Singing Blog' thing?" she asked, trying to keep up with his long strides.

He stopped, turning around abruptly, which caused Penny to careen into him. He grabbed her by the arms and took one step back. "Comic Con is a large convention that was originally formed for celebrating the world of comic book and science fiction television and film. Now in it's fortieth year, Comic Con has established itself as the largest North American convention for everything, ranging from horror to anime, from television to card games, even including fantasy novels and pornographic animation."

"Thanks, Encyclopedia Brown," she cracked, craning her neck to look up at him. "So, it's a geeky anything goes sort of thing?"

He glared at her. "Yes," he said simply.

He turned and walked on, collecting his 2% milk and a box of fruit roll ups.

"Emma asked me to pick up Pop-Tarts and Easy Mac," Penny reminded him.

"She's quite the connoisseur, isn't she?" he asked dryly without turning around. Sheldon usually had a habit of taking his time, evaluating prices to make sure he was getting a great deal. Not that it really mattered, because he got the same brand of the same products every week. Today, however, he was moving through the store quickly.

"Where's the fire, Cooper?" she asked.

"We left Emma alone," he answered.

Grinning, Penny responded. "Sheldon, she's not four."

"I still feel it isn't safe," he replied, pulling a box of Easy-Mac off the shelf and placing it in his small basket. "She isn't aware of evacuation procedures. She also isn't accustomed to earthquakes, being from the midwest."

"Sweetie," Penny said, smiling. "I think she'll be fine." They walked along in comfortable silence, close enough that their hands brushed every few feet. Then, Penny smirked, a thought occurring to her. "You said 'pornographic animation'."

Sheldon continued on, keeping his eyes trained forward. "Yes, I did."

She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned. "So wait, you guys all watch anime porn together then?"

Sheldon stopped, standing very still before quietly saying , "Nobody talks about that." He shot her a withering look out of the corner of his eye before he continued on toward his Fiber One. Penny simply giggled and strolled after him, knowing she had a good hour of entertainment ahead of her.

***

"No, I get it."

"I don't know what to tell you," came the despondent reply.

"Okay," Penny answered sadly. She had been on the phone with Whitney for almost ten minutes, talking about an open casting call that was taking place next week. Whitney had basically told her not to bother.

"You have a great look babe," Whitney started. "But, this just isn't the right thing."

"Yeah," she responded dully.

Emma and Sheldon sat nearby, engrossed in a game of Super Mario Brothers. The young girl looked up from the screen, pausing the game. Penny motioned for them to continue, but Emma simply ignored her. A moment later, Sheldon caught onto what was happening and also looked up at the blonde. She turned away. Walking swiftly toward her bedroom, she heard him whisper something to her niece.

"Just, maybe…." Whitney paused. "Work on it a little bit?"

"I've been working on it for almost three years," Penny answered.

There was silence on the other end. "I'm really sorry, Penny."

"Yeah." Penny said goodbye and hung up the phone. She inelegantly wiped the back of her hands against her eyes before opening her bedroom door to reveal Sheldon fidgeting.

"Penny," he said awkwardly, "Emma has pointed out that the weather is unseasonably pleasant today and we should engage in outdoor activity." Penny furrowed her brow at him. "Would you be adverse to going to the new putt-putt course?"

Behind him, Emma just grinned.

***

"Those small children are not even taking into account the trajectory their ball will likely take when they hit it right at the wall like that. Didn't they take geometry?"

"They're seven, Sheldon."

"They may move fast, but we're getting way more golf for our money, what with Tiger Woods here lining up every shot precisely and then lecturing us about angles at every opportunity."

"It's basic mathematics."

"Yes, we remember that portion of the dissertation from hole four."

"Let's hurry up so we can get to the snack bar. I'm parched."

"I'm in the middle of a putt."

"You've been in the middle of a putt for like six minutes, Moonpie."

"He's Moonpie?"

"Both of you, shush."

"I knew it was him!"

"And I've told you not to call me that."

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

"Sheldon, I need a smoothie."

"Ooh, a hole in one."

"What a shock."

"This snack bar…Do they have Red Vines?"

***

"Have you ever found it weird that she wakes up and everyone is just creepily hanging around her window?"

Penny rolled her eyes and looked over at Emma. "Shh," she said pointedly after a moment.

"Sorry," Emma cracked. "I didn't realize you'd never seen it." Penny rolled her eyes again.

After an afternoon which consisted of Emma clearly trying to do everything in her power to lift Penny's spirits, including making Sheldon go to the mall with them, they'd landed on the couch, tired. Emma had then thrown up her Hail Mary.

'The Wizard Of Oz'.

It had been Penny's favorite movie, since she'd been old enough to watch it. Her sister, eight years her senior, would hide behind their father's chair, asking to be told when the flying monkeys were gone. Penny, on the other hand, would get as close to the screen as she could, sometimes pressing her face against the glass. Everything about the film had entranced her. It was the goal she'd set for herself when she'd come out to California. She needed to be Judy Garland.

Minus the drug overdose.

And the getting married to gay men.

And the dying at a young age.

"There's no place like home," Emma echoed after Dorothy.

Penny leaned her head back against the sofa, closing her eyes. "There's no place like home."

"Okay," Emma said loudly, clearly trying to steer the conversation in a happier direction. "So, are you…..okay?"

Penny nodded her head unconvincingly, not even bothering to open her eyes again. "Yep."

"Really?" Emma pushed. "Because yesterday you cut off all your hair. And then today when you got off the phone, you were all….blotchy."

Penny opened her eyes and turned to her niece. There was really no reason not to be honest with the girl. "Emery, sometimes life…..just doesn't turn out the way you thought it would."

The red head pulled her knees up onto the couch and turned sideways to look at her aunt. "What's going on, Penny?"

Penny sighed. "I'm a failure."

"Penny," Emma chided sadly.

"No," Penny answered. "It's true." She felt the tears welling up in her eyes, but didn't bother to wipe them away. "I've been out here for almost three years. Do you want to know how many acting jobs I've gotten? Zero, none, zilch."

Emma frowned. "You can't give up though."

"Spoken as someone who was too young to ever fail at anything yet."

Emma looked at her aunt sadly. "Look," she said quietly. "This is…I don't really…"

"Emma?"

"The reason I wanted to come out here to spend time with you is because….well, you're my hero."

"Please," Penny snorted, wiping her nose with her hand.

"No, it's true." Emma paused for a moment. "I…I want to be an actress. Just like you."

Penny rolled her eyes. "You do not want to be just like me, trust me."

"Yes, I do." Emma nodded fervently. "And in five years when I graduate from high school, I'm going to pack up my car and drive out here and live with my famous aunt until I make it big too."

Penny stood, glaring angrily at her niece. "You don't get it, do you?" She threw her hands up in the air. "There is no 'make it'. There is being a waitress, or there is sleeping with casting directors to get your foot in the door. Those stories you hear about people just being discovered eating at a Dairy Queen are just that, stories."

Emma looked at her sadly. "It's all I've ever wanted…"

Penny swallowed hard, sliding back onto the couch. "I'm sorry, I just….I never want you to have to go through what I've been going through."

Emma nodded before inclining her head toward Penny. "Mom always says 'If your heart doesn't break at least a few times, how do you know it's worth it?'"

Penny smiled at the younger girl. "You've got your brother's brains too."

Emma rolled her eyes. "I'm not that freaky."

Penny chuckled.

"I will be just fine." The young girl had such confidence in her. The confidence that aimless Penny had never possessed fully. And she'd had her heart broken enough now to know that it wasn't really worth it. Penny leaned over and gave her niece a one-armed hug. "So, what about you?"

Giving her a sideways look, Penny answered. "There's no place like home."


	6. Monday

MONDAY

"…and so, if you were to enjoy your coffee without the addition of milk or sugar, it would stay warmer for a longer period of time. It's basic thermodynamics, Penny."

Penny just stared at the skinny, smarmy genius.

"Ooh, starting the lecturing early this morning," Leonard noted, stepping into the kitchen from his bedroom.

"No," Sheldon answered, checking his watch. "This is the usual time."

Before Leonard could say anything in response to that, the door opened and Emma entered, still in her long 'Strawberry Shortcake' tee. "Morning," she yawned.

"Coffee?" Penny asked, lifting her mug.

"I don't drink coffee," Emma answered, flopping onto the couch. "Mom says it will stunt my growth."

"I think you're done growing," Penny answered, chuckling.

"I would hope so," Leonard chimed in. When Emma threw him a death glare, he continued. "No, it's just that you're a…perfect height just as you are. Right now." The red head rolled her eyes.

"I find you to be a quite enjoyable height," Sheldon piped up. "My neck tends to get sore, constantly looking down at people."

"There ya go," Leonard answered. "You guys are perfect for each other."

"Holy crap on a cracker," Penny muttered, raising her mug to her lips. "Can we please stop with the allusions to Sheldon and Emma being a couple already?"

Everyone stared at her as if she had lobsters crawling out of her ears for a moment before Leonard finally spoke. "I…don't think…any of us…have been doing that…" It was slow, unsure, confused.

Penny looked over at Emma, who had risen from the couch and come over to sit on one of the kitchen stools. "Besides, why do you care?"

Penny tried that thing where she looked at someone really hard and tried to get their head explode, but it didn't work.

The night before, with the help of three tequila shots and another viewing of 'The Wizard Of Oz', Penny had revealed to Emma that maybe, possibly the idea of she and Sheldon wasn't that totally amazingly crazy after all. Emma had not been able to contain the squeal that burst from her.

"So, yesterday at the mall while you were getting your hair….fixed, Sheldon and I went to the arcade."

"Okay?" Penny had prodded.

"And I challenged him to a Skee Ball tournament."

"Okay…."

"And after listening to a five minute lecture on how he was a physicist and there was no way I would defeat him…I kicked his butt." She'd grinned widely.

Penny opened her eyes to look at the red head. "Really? Way to go."

Emma grabbed Penny's arm. "You haven't heard the best part yet." Penny raised her eyebrows. "Okay, he decided that if he won, I would have to do some weird thing with him called cosplaying-"

"It means costume role playing, usually anime characters." It had taken Penny a few seconds to realize she'd been the one to say that.

"What was that?" Penny couldn't possibly answer that, so instead she just groaned and closed her eyes again.

"So, what did you win?" Penny asked, knowing it had to be good for Emma to be this excited about it.

"I made him let me dress him up."

Penny opened her eyes, quickly looking over at her niece. There was no way the words she'd just heard were the words that Emma had actually said. "Excuse me?"

"I made him a life-size Ken doll."

Penny stared at her dumbly. "And he let you do this to him?"

"It was in the contract he had drafted," Emma answered, shrugging.

"And, of all the things in the world you could have made him do…." Penny asked, sitting up more fully. "This? You didn't even make him buy you something?"

Emma pulled out her cell phone. "Think of it as….an early birthday present."

"What?" Penny asked, grabbing the phone from her.

There, on the screen was Sheldon. But not really Sheldon at all. She scrolled through the pictures of Sheldon in jeans, Sheldon in a suit, Sheldon in a vest. His expression said he'd probably rather crawl in a hole and die. But despite that, he looked……..

"Hot, right?" Emma chuckled at the expression on Penny's face.

"How did…why….?" Penny couldn't articulate thought very clearly.

"Well," Emma responded, taking her phone back from Penny, who let it fall from her fingers, "I thought maybe he might be hot when I first saw him. He's really tall and thin and has these really big eyes. Seems kinda like one of those weird European models or something." Penny squirmed. They were going to that weird place again. "But then, I actually spoke to him." Penny giggled. "Either way, I kind of wanted to know." She paused and shoved her phone back into her pocket. "So, you're welcome."

That much she remembered clearly.

After that, things had become slightly hazy. She couldn't recall if she had said anything more on the subject, but judging from Emma's current expression, Penny could only assume that she had continued on to say something truly embarrassing.

"I don't care," Penny snapped defensively. She looked over at Leonard, who still seemed confused, then over to Sheldon. He was staring studiously at his oatmeal, not moving at all. The only sign that he was even paying attention to the conversation was the tension in his jaw.

"O…kay," Leonard finally said, furrowing his brow. "Sheldon, are you ready to go?"

Penny watched as Sheldon blinked slowly and then carried his still-full bowl to the sink. "Let me grab my bag."

"Hey Leonard," Penny said in as non-chalant a voice as she could muster. "Do you think we could talk tonight?"

At this, every head in the apartment shot toward her, each displaying a very different expression.

"Sure," he answered quickly. "We could have dinner or something?"

"That sounds great," she replied, not really concentrating. She was more interested in what was happening just a few feet from her. Sheldon had inclined his head just barely in the direction of Emma, who shook her head subtly.

The hell?

"Great then," Leonard answered. "It's a date."

Shit.

Leonard ushered a still quiet Sheldon out the door hurriedly, smiling at Penny as he left.

Fuck.

Emma turned to Penny. "I want to congratulate you on fucking that up so spectacularly."

"Language," she admonished, swallowing her coffee so quickly it burned her tongue.

***

They'd decided on a Greek restaurant, a short fifteen minute drive from the apartment. It had little dairy, which made Leonard happy, and Penny had been jonesing for some good hummus for weeks now.

"So, what's up?" Leonard smiled at her.

Penny tried to smile back, but was sure it ended up looking more like a grimace.

"Leonard…." She leaned forward and laid her hand on top of his.

"Is this about Alicia?" he asked suddenly. "Because there really isn't anything going on with her."

Penny shook her head, confused. "No, it's…not at all." She took a deep breath. "I'm going back to Nebraska."

"Oh," Leonard grinned, leaning back in his chair a little, a look of relief on his face. "I was worried something big was going on, the way you were being all serious. Well, bring me back some….." He trailed off, thinking. "…corn." He picked his menu up and began perusing.

"No. Leonard…" She sighed. "I'm….I'm moving back home."

The piece of pita bread he'd been about to put in his mouth fell to the table. "What?!"

"Shush," she chided, looking around at other tables.

"You're…leaving?" He looked at her like she'd just shot his puppy and then eaten him right there at the table. "You can't leave."

"I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think I have to." She looked at her hands carefully. "The acting thing was a stupid idea, and there really isn't any other reason to….stay." She looked around uncomfortably. She was suddenly feeling very aware of the tables being so close together.

"No reason to…what about me?" She looked at him sadly, not sure of what to say. "Oh. Oh." He took a breath and played with his napkin, still folded in the table top. "Okay."

"Leonard," she started. "You're a great guy."

"Just not great enough," he said quickly, nodding aggressively.

No, it's…" She reached out to him, but he flinched away. "You're so wonderful, and… you make me feel really special-"

"Well, I can see why that would get on your nerves," Leonard muttered.

"-but sometimes I feel like….like it has nothing to do with me." Her voice rose at the end, as if she was asking him a question.

"What? Of course it's you." His voice was getting slightly whiny.

"I just think that…." She trailed off, not really knowing how to say this in a way that didn't make him sound like a fickle jerk. "…you're maybe in love with the idea of me more than actual me." He furrowed his eyebrows at her.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's about you, Penny."

"Leonard," she tried again. "You don't really know me though. I think it could have been any blonde girl in denim cut-offs and you would have still been willing to do anything for them." His shoulders slumped. "Which is a testament to how sweet you truly are, that you're so willing to do so much for other people." She had to be quick here. "But, it's just….I don't feel that way about you." She thought for a second, before adding, "Anymore." It made her feel slightly better.

"So, what you're saying," he answered after a moment of thought, "is that I'm too nice and too sensitive for you. That if I were more like your ex, jerking you around and playing with your emotions, then it would work between us?" His voice was in full-on whine mode now.

She frowned. "Leonard." She reached across the table to take his hand, and this time he didn't pull away. "You're one of my best friends, you know."

He sighed, and she could see his will leave him. It almost made her relent. Almost. But she was being far too strong to let herself backslide so quickly.

"So, who is the guy?" Leonard asked, careful not to look at her.

"What?" Penny asked, reaching for a piece of pita bread.

"The new guy you're into." Penny stared at him, confused. "You generally like to string me along until you have a new guy lined up." He paused. "Sometimes even after that."

"I do not!" She swatted his arm playfully.

"Whatever," was the response she got, followed by a tight smile.

It was the best she could have hoped for, really.

***

Dinner had gone off without a hitch, it was even a little bit fun. When Leonard wasn't trying so very hard, he was a great guy to be around. They walked up the stairs in comfortable silence, side by side. As they reached their floor, Penny acknowledged him, feeling her nerves revving up in her stomach.

"Leonard, have you….ever seen….Sheldon, with a girl I mean?"

Leonard raised his eyebrows and turned toward her. "Not on purpose." They took a few more steps. "Why do you ask?" There was incredulous laughter in his voice.

Penny shrugged non-chalantly. "Just curious, I guess."

They had reached their landing, and Penny headed for her door as quickly as she could without looking like she was running away.

"Wait, Penny…." She grimaced before turning around. Leonard was looking at her, his head tilted sideways. The expression on his face was one of confusion and skepticism. She ground her teeth in apprehension. Then, she saw the light bulb go on over his head. "Sheldon?" He asked it quietly.

Penny winced, taking a step toward him. "Leonard, if you-"

"Sheldon." This time it was louder. He seemed to no longer realize she was in the hallway with him.

"-it's just that I'm not sure-"

"Sheldon?!" He was screaming now. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Before she could rebuff him, the door to 4A opened, and the man in question stepped into the hallway.

"Were you beckoning me?"

Leonard looked from Sheldon to Penny and back again before pushing past Sheldon into the apartment.

"And then there were two."

Sheldon looked at her quizzically. "Two what?"

Penny sighed, looking down at her hands, clasped awkwardly in front of her. "Nothing."

"You missed Thai night," he said accusatorily.

"Yeah, I wanted Greek." She said, feeling exasperated. "Can you believe it, on a Monday?"

He paused. "No."

She ran her hair through her hair in frustration. "Of course you can't."

"I can assume by Leonard's current mood that your date didn't go as well as planned?" His eyebrow is quirked upward.

It wasn't a date. _It wasn't a date._ She bit her lip. "It was fine." She leaned down to pull off her shoes. "How was your night?"

"Well, let's see." He clasped his hands behind his back. "Emma has never eaten Thai before, so we ended up eating later than the regular schedule, based on her taking overly long to place her order." Penny sighed. "Howard thought he was having an allergic reaction halfway through dinner, and had to leave. Which left Raj, who couldn't talk because even girls who are way too young for him still affect him, apparently." He took a breath. "As if that wasn't bad enough, 'Chuck' is in re-runs."

Penny stared at him blankly, so caught up in his own self-inflicted drama. Just like he always would be. There would never be a place for her.

"I'm moving back to Nebraska."

Before he could say another word, she went into her apartment and shut the door.


	7. Tuesday

TUESDAY

"So, what happened last night?"

Penny looked up from her 'TV Guide' crossword puzzle. "What do you mean?"

Emma came over to the table, sliding into the seat opposite Penny. "Something weird happened last night."

"Weird around here? How could you tell?" Penny cracked.

"Leonard came in all angry and quiet from your date-"

"It wasn't a date," Penny said quickly.

"- and went to his room without saying a word." Penny felt bad. She knew this thing with Leonard probably wasn't over. "And then Sheldon came in and went to his room too." Penny looked at Emma sadly. "I think he was really freaked."

"Yeah," Penny looked down at the magazine in front of her, filling in 'Aaron Sorkin' for 14 Down. "I sort of told them I'm moving."

Emma looked horrified. "Penny!" She stood abruptly.

Penny leaned back, raising her arms defensively. "What?"

There were interrupted by three quick knocks on the door.

Followed by the quiet murmur of her name.

She and Emma stared at each other for a moment before she rose to answer the door. Emma continued to watch her impassively.

She wretched to door open to reveal Sheldon, tall and expressionless.

"Hey," she greeted softly.

"These," he answered, extending his arm toward her, "are Emma's." He held up a pair of worn sneakers by the laces.

Emma stepped around the open door. "Thanks, Sheldon."

"You forgot them last night. I did you the favor of cleaning them," he responded, waving them slightly until Penny took them from him. His fingers were very warm when they brushed hers. Penny couldn't help the tiniest 'whoosh' of air from escaping her.

"I feel I should ask with regard to your sudden decision to move. Is it...in response to Leonard?"

She looked up at him incredulously. "Why would you think that?"

Well," he responded, "last night, after you came back from your date, he was seemingly upset about something."

"It wasn't a date," she replied, feeling annoyance.

Sheldon raised his eyebrows. "I meant to ask if you would re-consider this ill-thought move if Leonard were to ask you to stay."

"No," she sighed definitively. "Not Leonard."

They stared at each other for a moment too long. She felt her face start to heat up before looking away.

"Penny?"

"Yes?" She raised her eyebrows encouragingly.

The door to 4A opened, and Leonard stepped out into the hallway. When he saw the two of them, he started down the stairs muttering, "I'll be in the car."

The blonde watched him exit down the steps before turning her attention back to Sheldon. He was still watching her.

Here he went.

"Are you working tonight at The Cheesecake Factory? It's Cheeseburger Night."

Then again, maybe not.

***

Penny touched the computer screen, going through the process of putting in the order for Table 32. She had gotten very fast in the past couple years, something that she wasn't necessarily proud of. She then stepped into the kitchen, pulling down a tray to get their drinks ready.

Her cell phone went off in her purse. Looking around to make sure her manager wasn't anywhere near, she rushed over to answer it.

"Hello."

"It's Cassie." Her sister never called her.

"What's up?" She asked, confused.

"Emma just called me. She's a little freaked out," Cassie answered.

Penny cradled the phone under her chin, continuing to work. "About what?"

"Well, you apparently cut off all your hair and then decided yesterday that you're moving home again." Her sister had that tone in her voice. Penny hated that tone.

"Yeah. That's the plan," Penny stated flatly.

"That's your plan?" Cassie questioned.

"It's not fully formed yet," Penny defended.

There was silence on the other end. "So, she thinks you're off your rocker."

"I'm at work, Cass." Penny looked over at Tony, the cook. He was grinning at her.

"I'm booking her ticket now. Do you want me to get another one for you? Y'know, to apartment hunt and stuff?"

Penny relaxed. "Yes, please. God, you're a wonderful, wonderful gal."

"And you're crazy," her sister responded. Beat. "So, I hear there's this guy…"

Penny flipped her phone shut, rolling her eyes.

"Family," Tony muttered, chuckling.

Penny smiled at him. Tony was one of the cooks that hit on her on a regular basis. He was a nice enough guy, except for the fact that she was sure he smoked pot on his breaks and had nailed at least one waitress in the walk in cooler already.

Jasmine, one of the other servers entered, carrying her order pad. "Defcon Geek."

Penny gave her a wry grin. "That's my cue."

"Who's the girl with them?" The brunette asked, leaning against the counter next to Penny.

"My niece," Penny answered, smiling.

"She's cute," Jasmine replied.

"Really?" Tony asked.

"She's thirteen," Penny said, looking pointedly through the warming window. Tony turned back to the flat top grill.

Penny stepped back out into the seating area, giving the four women at Table 32 their Diet Cokes before ambling over to her Tuesday night regulars.

"Hey guys," she greeted them as animatedly as she could.

"Penny," Howard stated. "You are looking positively breathtaking this evening."

"Do you ever stop that?" Emma asked, smirking.

"No," Penny answered for him. She looked down at Howard. "I bet this gravy stain on my apron is really hot."

"Is it pork?" he asked. She glared at him.

"You'll have to treat that as soon as you get home," Sheldon piped up quietly.

"Thank you," she retorted in a clipped tone.

Leonard sighed loudly.

"Leonard, can I talk to you for just a second?" She gestured to the corner, away from the table. He stood sullenly and followed her. "Hey," she said, testing the waters.

"Hey," he answered blandly.

"So, I was thinking," she started, keeping her voice low. "Maybe you could not ever mention this whole…."

"You being in love with Sheldon thing?"

"Shh!" she whispered harshly, glancing over at the table. Sheldon and Howard were deep in conversation and appeared not to have heard anything.

Leonard appraised her. "Penny, are you sure about this?"

"I'm not in love with him," she said emphatically.

"Okay," he answered, nodding.

"Nothing is ever gonna happen, I have no intention of acting on….whatever this is," Penny replied. "And he has no idea, no sense of….he'll never…" She couldn't finish. She had nothing left to say on the subject. She simply shook her head.

Leonard crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh my God. This is real." His eyes were wide. "Wow." He stopped to think. "If you're really leaving, don't you think you should tell him?"

Penny looked at him blankly. "No."

Leonard's mouth quirked up on one side. "I know he's a handful-"

"Psha!"

"-but he is still a human," Leonard plowed on over the top of her.

She glanced over to the table, where Sheldon had apparently gotten out his personal crumb sweeper and was cleaning the table top.

"Prove it."

***

"Honey, I'm home!" Penny called, shutting the door behind her.

"Darling!" Emma answered cheekily, entering from Penny's bedroom, where she had clearly been playing dress up in Penny's clothes. She wore one of Penny's sluttier dresses, a red one that had no back on it at all. The girl's lack of chest caused it to gape slightly in the front.

"Going clubbing?" Penny asked, throwing herself down on the couch.

"I look good," Emma responded, twirling around before losing her footing and careening toward the couch.

"Yeah, you're quite the princess," Penny cracked.

"Can we do something really awesome and fun tonight?" Emma asked, leaning her elbows on the back of the couch.

"Sure, like what?"

Emma thought for a second. "I want to go see the 'Hollywood' sign."

Penny smiled. That had always been her favorite thing to do when she first moved out here.

"Absolutely." She rose, making an old man noise. "You go de-slut, I'll go de-cheesecake and we'll leave."

"Awesome!" Emma started skipping around the living room. "Oh, so Raj spoke to me tonight."

Penny cracked up. "Really? Was he drunk?"

Emma furrowed her brow. "I think so. He told me I had pretty eyes."

"Did you tell him he has five years to wait on you?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "That's not that long, Penny. You can't deny our deep-seeded love." She twirled again. "After all, we have spoken like seven whole words to each other."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Emma."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Emma."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Emma."

The red head looked over at Penny questioningly before prancing to the door and opening it. "Hey Sheldon!"

Penny frowned, wandering over to her fridge to get a bottle of water.

"Hello, Emma. Will you be joining us for Halo until Penny returns home?"

Emma stepped aside to point out Penny, who was mid-chug. She pulled the bottle away, wiping her mouth. "Hey," she mumbled around a mouthful of water.

"We're actually doing something tonight," Emma responded, turning back to the tall man at the door.

"Are you going dancing?" he asked.

"What?"

"The dress," he noted, glancing down at her outfit. Penny walked toward them slowly, watching him. He was pointedly ignoring her.

"Oh, no." Emma smiled. "I was just playing dress up." She turned to Penny, who was right behind her now. "Can we go soon?"

"Go put on real clothes," Penny answered.

"You look very nice," Sheldon said.

"Thanks, Sheldon!" Emma danced off toward the bedroom.

Penny watched Sheldon for a moment.

"What?" he asked.

"You are so nice to her. What gives?" She asked, confused. "You are never that nice to me."

"Penny-"

"No, seriously, when was the last time you told me I looked nice?" She was irrationally angry at him, but she couldn't help it.

He stared at her for a moment.

"You still have a gravy stain on-"

That was all she let him get out before she slammed the door in his face.

***

"This is living," Emma announced, leaning back against the windshield.

"I hear that," Penny retorted, raising her milkshake to bump against Emma's.

"Seriously, how can you want to leave this?" Emma asked, turning toward her aunt.

"It's not that I necessarily want to," Penny started.

"It's just that you're a big wuss," Emma finished.

Penny smiled sadly. "Being this close to something that you really want and not being able to have it sucks way more than not being anywhere near it."

Emma brought her shake up to her lips and took a long sip. "Are you just talking about the work?"

Penny grimaced. "Emma…"

Emma held a hand up. "No, I'm done. I swear." They stared off into the distance in silence.

"He is proud of the fact that he's inhuman," Penny finally said. "He seems to think it's a strength."

"He's wrong," Emma answered flatly.

"Tell him that," Penny shot back.

"I did," Emma said quickly.

The air was thick and uncomfortable.

"You what?" Penny asked slowly.

"He's been sort of confiding in me in his own weird, Sheldon way, and-"

Penny's cell phone rang. The blonde rolled her eyes and pulled it out of her pocket. It was Cassie.

"Hey," she said, flipping it open.

"Hey," her sister answered. "Is Emma with you?"

Penny rolled her eyes at her niece. "Who?"

"My daughter," her sister responded.

"Oh, I haven't seen her since yesterday," Penny deadpannedly replied. "She said something about some biker who was going to give her a great deal on tattoos."

"You're so incredibly not funny," Cassie answered. Emma giggled. "Anyway, I have you guys booked on a six-thirty flight with a lay-over in Denver."

"You're the bestest sister in the whole world," Penny replied. Giving Emma a sidelong glance, she then slid off the hood of her car and took a half dozen steps away. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything, Penelope."

Penny rolled her eyes at the use of her full name. "Okay, so earlier…when I hung up on you, you had started to ask about-"

"The guy that you're completely in love with but unable to acknowledge?"

Penny coughed. "Yeah, something like that," she answered. "He's…a little….really different." She heard her older sister chuckle on the other end. "And the whole thing feels….sort of strange. Unlike any time before really."

"That could be a good thing," Cassandra replied.

"He's _so_ frustrating sometimes, Cass." Penny looked over her shoulder at Emma, who was clearly in her own world, looking up at the night sky.

"What man isn't?"

"How do I know if I…I mean, how am I supposed to be able to tell if….."

"If you're in love with him?" her sister asked.

Penny winced. "Let's not use that word right now."

"What word should we use?"

Penny smirked and rolled her eyes. "Spelunk."

"Are you on medication? Okay, if you can…spelunk him without caring whether or not he spelunks you back...no, that word sounds dirty in this context, Penny."

"I have to care," Penny spoke up. "I'm moving."

"By your choice," her sister pointed out. "Your rash, crazy, ADHD choice."

Penny bit her lip. "I can't… let this figure into my decision."

"What I'm saying," Cassandra spoke up, "is that you have a habit of doing this thing where you fall in love with a guy just because he's in love with you."

"I do not."

"Okay. But, let's say for argument's sake that you do." Penny set her jaw, irritated. "Has he given you any indication that he feels something for you?"

Penny wracked her brain. There weren't any real concrete moments she could point to as proof of how he felt or didn't feel about her at all, actually. "No," she finally answered, and hoped her sister couldn't hear the sadness in her voice.

"Okay," Cassie answered.

"He could very well never feel anything for me," Penny went on.

"Okay," Cassie repeated. "And knowing that, how do you feel about him?"

"And if he did, could he express those feelings?" Penny asked, ignoring her sister's question.

Cassie sighed loudly. "Shit or get off the pot, kid."

Penny smiled. "That's oddly helpful and comforting, actually."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Cassie responded. "Hug Em for me."

"Who?" Penny asked before hanging up.

"Our flight is early," Penny said, climbing back onto the roof of the car. "I'm going back with you. To scout out apartments and jobs and stuff." Emma was silently sucking down her milkshake. "Emma, I think we... shouldn't finish that conversation."

Emma pulled her straw away from her mouth.

"Considering you're both stubborn idiots, I agree."

***

"We need to get to bed, babe." Penny yelled through the bathroom door to Emma, who had decided to shower. "We have to leave for the airport really, really early."

"I know!" came the response.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

His voice didn't hold it's usual lilt and his knock came in a quicker, more staccato rhythm.

"Hey, Sheldon," she said, pulling the door open.

"I label everything."

Penny frowned at him. "Okay?"

"I label everything in my life. My action figures-"

"I know."

"- my underwear-"

"I remember."

"- the measuring cup I keep my urine in."

Penny raised an eyebrow at this. "Your ur- sweetie, you've lost me here."

"Everything has a label. Everything…..but you." He looked at her, seemingly lost. "I've never really understood human interaction very well, and am at a loss. So, I think it would be very beneficial to us both if you would kindly label yourself."

Penny exhaled slowly. "Sheldon, I can't do that."

His eyebrows shot up. "Why ever not?"

Penny smiled at him sadly, not knowing how to answer that. "I'm sorry if Emma has made things hard on you."

Sheldon tilted his head to the side. "On the contrary, I feel quite comfortable with her." He thought for a moment. "Well, as comfortable as I feel with anyone. She seems very familiar."

Penny leaned against her door. "Yeah, I think it's because she's a twin who has a brother just like you and knows how not to take your crap. She's Missy."

Sheldon thought for a moment. "Huh," was all he said.

Penny sighed and closed her eyes, stealing herself. "Sheldon," she breathed. "I'm leaving in the morning with Emma."

Sheldon stared straight ahead, through her. "Okay, then."

"It's just going to be for a week for right now," she rushed on. "I think."

Sheldon looked at her. "But you're coming back?" There was such _hope_ in his eyes as they locked on hers that it made Penny's heart hurt. She had fleeting thoughts of glitter, a peanut brittle can and a napkin that sat framed on a desk in a room she wasn't allowed to enter. Despite that, there was so much work that would have to go into anything involving this maddening genius.

She flew at him, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. "Sheldon," she whispered into his neck. He stood rigidly, trying not to touch her. After a couple seconds, he must have realized she wasn't going to let go and he put his arms around her tentatively, exhaling into her hair. She pulled away to look in his eyes before leaning up and gently kissing his lips. It was quick, too quick for him to even register what was happening. But the feeling that washed over her body was all Penny really had to know.

"Scarecrow, I think I'm going to miss you most of all," she said softly as she pulled away. His face was a mask of shock and what was probably terror.

"Penny," he said slowly.

The apartment door opened and Raj and Howard stepped out into the hallway. "Fair Penny," Howard greeted her, bowing his head.

"Howard," she answered, trying to smile at the little weirdo.

"We are waiting on you, Sheldon." Howard was tapping his foot anxiously.

"Yes, of course." Sheldon seemed torn, not making any move.

"Hang 'em high, boys!" Penny announced.

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Penny, that is ridiculous."

She looked at him for several long seconds before finally saying, "Goodnight."

He seemed as if he wanted to say something, but found his resolve and turned away from her, not looking back.

Penny stared at his closed door for what could have been ten minutes, trying to talk herself out of it.

"Oh crap."

"What's wrong?" Emma asked, stepping into the living room.

Penny turned to speak to Emma. Emma, who had started this whole thing. Emma, who would understand.

"I spelunk him."

Emma tilted her head to the side and stared at her aunt. "Are you on medication?"

Before Penny could answer, her cell phone rang. She dug in her purse, pulling it out quicker than she thought she would.

"Hello?"

"Are you sitting down?"


	8. The Second Wednesday

WEDNESDAY

"Why couldn't mom have booked a nice mid-morning flight?" Emma whined. She was gathering up the last of her things that had become scattered around the apartment over the last week. "Or even an afternoon flight."

"Well, it seems pretty clear that she hates you." Penny smiled at the red head. Despite the early hour, Penny was feeling better today than she had in years.

"I know," Emma sighed. "At least I'll be able to sleep on the plane."

"Sure, planes are always great places to get rest," Penny quipped.

Emma pulled her iPod off the charger, checking the lock function. "So, what were you talking to mom about last night?"

Penny surveyed her niece. "Grown up stuff," she eventually said.

"So, what _was_ the decision on Dr. Strangelove?" Emma asked, smiling innocently. Penny rolled her eyes, grinning.

"None of your business," Penny said, lifting a bag to her shoulder.

"Aww," Emma pouted. "I don't get to find out how it all ends? That is so unfair."

Penny grabbed her keys off the table by the door. "Em, there is no 'all'. It'll probably blow over." She shrugged and opened the door.

"And what about the astounding cave discovery?" Emma questioned.

Penny laughed at this, steering the young girl out the door. "Um…." She thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure the entire thing would have fizzled before anything could happen anyway."

Emma started down the steps in front of her. Penny glanced at the closed door of 4A before following. "Why do you say that?"

"Because," Penny rationalized. "He is too…obtuse to ever understand what I'm saying, to understand a normal relationship. Add that to my clear mental breakdown, and bazinga!" Emma giggled tiredly. "Disaster."

"I think you're wrong."

"I know."

***

"Oh, shit."

"Lang- oh, you're leaving. I don't care." Penny responded. "What's wrong?"

"I unplugged my iPod, but didn't grab the cord," Emma explained. "I'll be right back." She dropped her bags and trudged back up the four flights of stairs they'd just descended. Penny stepped past the pile of luggage Emma had left in the lobby and continued out to the parking lot.

Things would be better this way.

She was almost partly convinced.

"Here's an interesting fact."

Penny looked up, startled. There he stood, hands clasped behind his back, the sun rising behind him in the distance.

"The line 'Scarecrow, I think I'll miss you most of all' is taken out of context."

She suddenly felt like there was an elephant sitting on her chest. She swallowed, her throat uncomfortably dry. "Really?"

"Mmm, yes." He took a step toward her. "There was an earlier draft of the script in which there was a subplot involving a romance between Dorothy and the Scarecrow. The producers cut all of the scenes suggesting such a storyline, but left in that small moment." Another step. "The way the film stands, there really is no reason as to why Dorothy would miss the Scarecrow any more than, say, the Cowardly Lion."

Penny opened and then closed her mouth several times before she could get any words to come out. "Oh" was all she managed. She bit her lower lip, narrowing her eyes at the sunlight.

"Yes." He took another small step toward her. "Were you aware of that trivia fact?"

It was not until this moment that Penny noticed that Sheldon wasn't actually making eye contact with her, but looking over her shoulder, his eye twitching.

But, he was here. He'd planned this. Changed his schedule for her. Could that mean…? Penny shook her head dumbly, continuing to stare at him wide-eyed.

"She was going home," Penny finally said quietly.

"She was running away," Sheldon shot back quickly.

"No, she was running away _to _Oz," Penny pointed out. "But she realized there was no place like home."

"This _is_ your home."

Even though his face was hidden in his own shadow, she saw a defiance there that she'd never seen with such clarity. He took another step toward her, closing most of the gap that had stood between them.

"Penny."

"No, no. I got it all, thanks."

Penny turned to see Emma struggling toward them with her suitcases, sunglasses on her face. "Hey Stretch, come to see me off?"

"I hope your flight back is satisfactory," Sheldon responded sincerely.

Emma stared at him blankly for a moment. "Well, I guess that's as good as it's gonna get, huh?" She walked over to the car and opened the back door with a flourish. Then pulling out her cell phone, she acknowledged them again. "If you're gonna kiss her, could you get on with it? We have a plane to catch."

Penny's stared at her relative, slack-jawed in shock.

"Is your whole family crazy?" Sheldon intoned.

"Yes," she answered quickly. She turned her head to watch Emma struggle with her bags, stuffing them into the tiny car.

"Why, if Dorothy cares for the Scarecrow, does she go back to Kansas?"

"Because he never asks her to stay." Penny clapped a hand over her mouth in horror, before trying to brush it off with a little cough and a rub of her nose. She continued to watch her niece, determined not to look at the man standing before her.

He cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself. "Stay." It's quiet, but as serious as she'd ever heard him. Penny felt her lip quivering, and she needed to blink rapidly to keep the sudden wetness in her eyes from rolling down her cheeks.

"Why?"

He fidgeted, opening and then closing his mouth several times. "I…I can't, I don't…."

Penny took a cautious step toward him. This was it, she _had_ to make him understand, realize. "'The Wizard Of Oz' is my favorite movie of all time." Sheldon flinched slightly, but stayed where he was. " "When I was eleven, my mother bought me this…" Penny took a deep breath. "This trivia book. Basically everything nobody knows about the movie." The tall physicist tilted his head back, appraising her. "I... knew what I was saying." Penny, stealing herself, brought her hands up and placed them palm down on on his thin but sturdy chest. "Why should I stay, Sheldon?" She tilted her head up toward him, swallowing around the lump in her throat.

He hesitantly lowered his own face to her, placing a soft kiss on her mouth before straightening up.

The car horn honked suddenly, and Emma squealed from the front seat of the car. "Wooooo!"

Penny glanced over at her niece before turning her attention back to Sheldon, who seemed completely unsure of himself. She couldn't help the rush of affection she felt bubble up inside of her. She smiled at him warmly.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at the blonde. "Were you testing me?"

Penny feigned shock for a moment. "Of course not, I just...." She tried to think of how to say it. "I thought it would be more of an inside joke between...well, me and me."

"So, it was a joke?" He was frowning now.

"No, sweetie." She chuckled. "I just thought it would be something you wouldn't understand."

"Like almost everything that comes out of your mouth." She glared at him.

"It was just my way of saying something without actually saying something." She shrugged, screwing her face up.

"I looked it up on Wikipedia," he offered.

Penny grinned at him. "Well, but anyone can post stuff on there."

"Ugh, I am aware."

Here she went.

"Sheldon, have you heard of 'Short Circuit'?"

"It's a robot movie," he said by way of answer, rolling his eyes.

"Okay," she said, shaking off the urge to slug him. "Well here's the thing. It's apparently being redone, and I'm friends with the casting director. She slipped my head shot to the director and he loved my look." She stopped to breathe, afraid she might burst with excitement. "They called last night and he wants me to come in on Friday. He thinks I might be perfect for the Ally Sheedy part."

Sheldon smiled at her, his eyes twinkling in the early morning sunlight. "Congratulations, Penny."

"Thank you," she answered, not able to keep the smile off her face.

"So you're….not leaving then?" She shook her head. "Were you never planning on leaving?"

Penny tilted her head to the side, gazing at him affectionately. "No, I was. In fact, I'm still packed. But...it turns out I'm not done with California yet."

He gave her a wavering smile. Grinning widely, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down, kissing him eagerly. He flailed for the tiniest moment before placing his fingertips gingerly on her ribcage. He was a rookie, that much was clear. But there was a gentle grace to him, even now as his lips danced over hers. Things would only get better.

"Seems that California isn't done with you, either," he muttered when they'd finally broken apart. Penny threw her head back, laughing.

"Guys, seriously…" Emma had climbed out of the car now and was taking her last bag from Penny. "I don't have a license, so I shouldn't really drive myself." She looked between the two adults. Penny shook herself, trying to clear her head.

"Okay kid, let's get you home." Emma hauled the bag back to the car as Penny turned to Sheldon again.

"I have to work," Sheldon said immediately. Penny raised her eyebrows. "I don't have the time or brain faculties to come up with a lie the likes of which I would need to call in sick."

"Okay," she nodded reassuringly. Gently, she touched his side, just above his hip.

He glanced down at her hand, but she boldly kept it where it was. He licked his lips quickly and she felt herself grin widely.

"But you'll be home later, when I get home?"

She nodded.

He relaxed.

"Oh good, then you can drive me to the comic book store."

*******************

Okay, so that's all she wrote. Literally. There's no more. Hope everyone liked it!


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